There's a lot of funny things you hear or witness in this type of job, but not everything can constitute a full story. I have a lot of these, so I would like to share them.
Well at least that's what everybody else seems to think. There isn't actually anything special about us, unless by special you mean that some of us should be riding the shortbus. But there are times users think we have special powers... and sometimes they just assume.
The Non-Existent Problem
This is often compared to the common story of you bring your car into a mechanic because it's making a funny noise, but when the mechanic looks at the car, the noise goes away. Of course there are times that a computer will do something weird, but you can't reproduce the problem. It happens, and you really have no choice but to go "huh?" and then continue on your way. You might do a little research on it, or you may investigate your computer a bit to make sure nothing malicious is going on, but the problem is quickly out of mind.
Some users will report every little thing to I.T., whether it is actually causing a problem or not. While this is great job security, it can be quite annoying, especially when you can't actually find anything wrong, and all you have to go off of is some random error that you can't reproduce. And of course the user didn't write the error down or take a screenshot. That'd make it way too easy.
Then there is the recurring "problem" that miraculously disappears every time a tech gets a chance to look at it. Typically these go the following way:
Me: So what's the problem?
User: When I do __________, the computer does/does not do __________
So I give it a try, and it works perfectly. Me: Well I don't see any problem here.
User: Well that's strange. It must just be because you're here.
Let's get one thing straight right now. Computers don't suddenly start working correctly because an I.T. person is in the room. They don't have feelings and don't get intimidated because we are there and think "Hey I better behave, I.T. is here."
In these cases I tell the user to keep working and that if the "problem" happens again, to let me know. I believe a majority of these are just user training issues... that the user probably was doing it wrong, and the computer was acting correspondingly. After I come over and try it myself, the user sees the correct way to do it, doesn't want to fess up to being a moron, and utters the pathetic excuse that it just was probably because now I'm there.
There's also the users that never learn. They keep resubmitting the same problem, but every time I.T. investigates, the problem goes away. In this case you just keep telling them there is nothing wrong, demonstrate it working correctly, and hope they stop bugging you about it.
We Can Read Minds... no, rly!
It's pretty interesting getting problems via email or voicemail. When you're talking to a user directly, you ask a lot of questions as part of the troubleshooting process. The best techs know how to get the right information from a user when the user isn't really sure exactly what they're talking about. However, in email (or voicemail), there is no interaction with the user, so you're stuck with their message about the problem and no additional information. At my company, we ask users to send emails to a specific address to open a ticket, and then our software automatically creates the work order for me. Here's one I got last week:
"It's on the fritz again. Can you take a look first thing in the morning?"
That's it. First, I'm at a loss, because "on the fritz" has absolutely no meaning to me. That's like sending me a ticket "it's not working". What's not working? It's not working how? Come on, details people! Second, the user said "again". Considering I never helped this user with anything since I had started at the company, I have no idea what that could be referring to. I asked my boss if he knew since he's been with this company since they started, but he didn't know either. And we're the only two I.T. support people. Turns out that the problem was with someone else's computer (might be helpful to know) and it was a first-time problem.So I'm still not sure where the "again" came from. I was also highly disappointed that the user that sent in this ticket is the manager of our customer care/customer tech support team... he should know better!
Then there's the user that doesn't realize that there are other users besides them that you (or your team) support. "Hi, this is ___________. I'm having that problem again." Um, I'm sorry I'm not sure what you're talking about... "oh well I just talked to __________ and they fixed it, but the problem came back. Don't you know about it?"
Totally... I've got a super power that allows me to know about every single issue from every single user... whether I actually helped them or not. In fact, I should call YOU right when you start to have a problem... I do read minds, so shouldn't I be able to read yours and call you pro actively? These users also tend to think the world revolves around them... So if something isn't working for them, then the website/service/application must be down. Completely. For everyone.
Ok back to the oh-so-descriptive emails. "Hi can you reset my password?" I've never met another support person that didn't do password resets for more than one thing. It might be helpful to include what you are trying to access, unless you want me to reset your network password when really you were looking to get your voicemail password reset.
While users assuming I have super powers can be annoying, sometimes it does feel kinda good. It's pretty cool when someone says to me after configuring a new Outlook rule, "you're the smartest person I know!" Either that's not true, or everyone she knows is REALLY dumb... either way, it still makes me smile. :)
Well I know I said I was back and then I posted once and kinda disappeared again... Lots of drama happening in my world!
Anyway I hope to be back for good now. I originally stopped posting because a co-worker mentioned that the helpdesk manager knew about my website and was not happy about it. I hid all the posts on the website, so while Helpdesk Hell still existed, nothing was on the website. Even though I was very careful not to reveal anything about my identity or my company, I was nevertheless worried about getting fired. Nothing ever happened though, so maybe that co-worker just said that because they wanted me to take down the site for some other reason... /shrug.
Almost three months later, I started another position at the same company. While the new position was still technical (data analyst), I was no longer in I.T. I felt it was now safe to bring the website back up, but since I wasn't doing any support, I wasn't getting any good material and had a total writer's block.
Two months later and I'm just pissed off with my company. My new job sucks, my new boss sucks, most of my new coworkers are annoying tools (I even had nicknames for two of them... Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee). While I probably could've written a ton of crap about them that would've been funny and entertaining to read, it wouldn't fit with the theme of the website. I started looking for another support-type job, and after setting up 4 interviews over a period of 3 days, I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep my job-seeking a secret any longer. I told my boss that I was looking, but I would give them two weeks notice. I went to an interview the next day, and then the day after that (Friday) I received an email from my boss saying that she was giving me a formal warning for going to the interview the day before.
I had an interview set up that afternoon with a really cool company and there was no way I was going to cancel it. I told my boss that I was still going to the interview, and asked her if they were going to fire me if I went. She wouldn't say yes or no at first, but then after 30-45 minutes she told me that if I chose to disregard her warning, then I would be fired. I said I was going to the interview and that's not going to change, so why not go ahead and fire me. It was only 8am and I wasn't going to wait around til 2pm to get fired. She again said that I would be fired when I actually disregarded the warning. So I went to the mailroom and grabbed a couple boxes and started packing up my stuff. The funniest thing about that day had to be my boss saying "I can't understand why you can't do interviews on your own time." I told her that companies don't interview on nights and weekends... apparently she was too dumb to think of that. She tried to get me to sign a letter of resignation but I refused.
I called the company I was interviewing with that afternoon and offered to come in earlier since I was free. They indeed had me come in a couple hours earlier and I met with the two people that made up the I.T. department (this is a small company with about 75 employees). They tested me on my technical skills and then one of them left so I could just talk with the manager. I ended up telling him about the ultimatum I received from my last company (go to the interview, and you're fired), mostly because I wanted to tell him I was available to start immediately (I initially told them I needed two weeks notice). About 20 minutes after I left, I received a call from the recruiter asking me to come in for the cultural interview first thing on Monday. I went into that interview and then five minutes after I left that, I was called and offered the job. I started on Wednesday. So in a span of four business days, I walked out of my job (oh man did that feel good), interviewed for another, got offered the job, and started working again. Not too shabby!
So now I've got a pretty awesome gig. Basically our I.T. department consists of a Windows administrator (my boss), a Linux administrator, and myself. I do all the desktop support type work and I'll be moving into more server and user administration as time goes on. It is quite honestly my dream job as I'm doing what I love for the type of company I always dreamed of working for. They gave me some kickass computers, they don't mind if I log into Warcraft every now and then (as long as I don't have other work to do), I can wear whatever I want, there's a keg in the kitchen (free beer after 4pm), and a stocked fridge and pantry with things like yogurt, cheese, milk, juice, chips, pretzels, and nuts. I really love coming into work and pouring a bowl of my favorite cereal and having milk provided. Also, since we have dishes, silverware, and a dishwasher, I can just bring in food from home and make my lunch there instead of having to pre-make stuff at home and bring it in. The company also pays 100% benefits for the entire family (covers spouse and children) and pays for my public transportation pass, which is really nice because I now take the train to work. And they gave the employees a list of really nice holiday gifts to choose from... I chose the $325 Best Buy gift card. So I'm really happy!
Well there it is... I hope to keep posting on a more regular basis now that I have a new source of inspiration!
So the other day my husband takes a call and immediately he hears "plop, plop"... the sound of two things being dropped into water. Then a woman comes on the phone and says "hold on one moment" and a toilet flushes.
It doesn't take a genious to find out what transpired here. Besides being disgusting, I wonder why in the world this happened considering the woman was never on hold when she initially called. It wasn't like she called and was on hold for 20 minutes and then had a sudden uncontrollable urge to use the bathroom... What did she do? Sit down on the toilet with her cordless phone and decide to call the helpdesk? And no, the helpdesk my husband works at is not a toilet manufacturer or any kind of business related to something you would do in the bathroom!
Instead of drunk dialing, we now have BM dialing!
I wonder if it was this chick:
Sorry for the absence from the interwebs, but Helpdesk Hell is back and ready to share more misery!
It's amazing what a simple restart can fix. Honestly, sometimes I am even surprised when a restart fixes something I didn't expect. Now I understand people are busy and sometimes a restart can be very inconvenient in the middle of the day when you have many things going at once... I am the same way.
But believe me, when I need you to reboot your computer, it's not just because I want to torment you so I can laugh (although that can be fun). Keep in mind, I'm waiting for your computer to restart too, which normally involves having to answer your stupid questions about the weather (how the fuck do I know?... my desk isn't outside), or listen to your gripes about how it's all Bill Gates' fault that you need to reboot.
So dealing with people who don't want to reboot requires some creative thinking. There are many problems that a reboot will fix, but if you know exactly what processes are causing the problem, you can usually restart those and have the same effect. I don't mind doing that since it saves me time, but you should still restart your computer every day.
User: I restart my computer everyday! I don't understand why you see my system up time as 83 days.
Me: Ok, well tell me how you are restarting your computer...
User: "I go to start > shutdown and then choose 'Log Off'.
Me: (/sigh) You need to pick "restart".
User: Restart… well isn’t that the same as log off?
User: But you guys said to never turn off our computers!
- That is correct, we do not want you to turn off your computers and leave them off overnight. That doesn't mean that we never want you to ever power off your computer EVER. Actually, we want you to restart every night. You create so many dumbass problems during the day that your computer needs to recover somehow.
User: What's the difference between shutdown and restart?
- What's the difference between turning off your car and restarting it? (I thought the words "shutdown" and "restart" pretty much explained themselves, but I guess not)
User: I restarted my computer 2 days ago and this problem started before then.
Ok I really hate when people give excuses like this.... you called me for help, so just STFU and do what I fricken ask. I've gotten to the point now when people say stuff like this, I just make up a reason "Well I just made a change to your computer, so I need you to restart for the change to take affect."
Sometimes you just have to lie...
Unfortunately we have a Blackberry Enterprise Server (BES), so we have to support Blackberry issues. Most of the time it's fairly simple... just do the old standby of removing/reseating the battery and then turning the stupid thing back on. Also, we're lucky enough that a lot of the problems need to be addressed by the cellular company, so we just give them the phone number and tell them to call the company themselves. I like that :)
Two things I want to mention on the Blackberries:
1. This doesn't just apply to Blackberries, but any mobile device. DON'T USE IT WHILE DRIVING. This is an actual email I got:
From: xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent: Friday, March 09, 2007 4:27 PM
To: xxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: test
Emailing while driving. I am operational. THX for the help and have a great weekend.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld
I'm not quite sure why this person actually feels it necessary to state they are emailing while driving. If I did that (and I NEVER would), I would make sure to NOT point out how much of an idiot I am. Side note: This person was in New York. Isn't there a law against this in that state?
2. How-to questions. Well these really suck because I've never used a Blackberry personally. We have two Blackberry models available for us to use to help users troubleshoot issues. We had a training exercise that we did using the Blackberries to see how they worked. Only problem is, we no longer issue those models anymore; now people are getting the Blackberry Curve. So now when I get a how-to question, I just look at the 200+ page PDF of the Curve user manual that I have saved on my computer.
One user called in and said they couldn't figure out how to turn off the color coding to distinguish between personal emails and emails coming from the BES. I searched the word "color" in the PDF and found it on the third instance of the word color.
No big deal, right? Well this user went to the phone company's store and the salespeople tried for over 30 minutes to find this option before giving up. The user then called Blackberry support and they said that this was a BES server setting, to which the user replied "well if I turned it on myself, how come I need to have my administrator turn it off?" That conversation went nowhere. So then she calls me. Someone who's never used a Blackberry. Someone who's never seen a Curve. Someone who's just doing searches on the user manual and faking like they know it.
I hope my work never requires me to use a Blackberry. I like it when people CAN'T get ahold of me when I'm not at work...
Sorry for the delay in posting over the last week... I've been sick with an ear infection... yech!
Not only do the engineers create problems on their own machines, but they are also like black holes; slowly absorbing the people and computers around them into their never-ending mass of computer suckiness.
We quite frequently get calls from regular users who has asked for help from an engineer at their location (keep in mind not only do engineers pretend like they know stuff, but they advertise it as well). Usually the user had something simple they needed help with, but after the engineer is done with them, they end up calling the helpdesk and pleading with us to make it all better.
One specific time, the user was just trying to use dual monitors by using her laptop LCD with her external LCD monitor as an extended desktop. Somehow, the engineer managed to get both monitors to display, but they displayed the same thing (instead of extending the desktop), and the external monitor had the picture upside-down. Easy to fix, but I’m not really sure how it got fucked up that bad to begin with.
And then there was the time with Outlook Mobile Access… the engineers really screwed the helpdesk over with this one, because we were the ones that got the brunt of the incessant complaining from our users. Like many companies, we use Microsoft Exchange Server 2003. We have Outlook Web Access for remote access from any computer with an Internet connection, but we make use of Blackberries and a Blackberry Enterprise Server for mobile access to email. One of the features that the business decided to NOT enable was Outlook Mobile Access for access to email from your smartphone or PDA. The reason behind this was that the business wants all the guys (or gals) in the field to have the same mobile device to give the company a professional image… a Blackberry. I’m not saying I agree with this, but whatever, that’s what the policy is (damn stupid policies… I could right pages about stupid policies).
Anyway, at one point we turned on the Outlook Mobile Access as a proof-of-concept type pilot program for our high-level executives. I’m talking CEO, CIO, CFO and the like. No one was supposed to know about it. Hell, the HELPDESK didn’t even know about it. Well some engineer knew about this Exchange feature and decided to see if it worked. And it did. So he told a bunch of people, those people told even more people, and so on. Eventually it was decided to turn this feature off and thankfully we were warned about it, but we were told that it shouldn’t be a big deal because no one knew about this feature and no one should’ve been using it.
Oh, how wrong they were. As soon as they turned it off, we started getting bombarded with calls about it. Now the majority accepted what we told them: it was only a pilot, they shouldn’t have been using it in the first place, yadda yadda yadda. However, there were a lot of people who just would not accept that this feature is no longer available so I had to hear them bitch and bitch about how hard it is to receive email in the field and how we are preventing them from doing their jobs… like it was the helpdesk’s decision to turn the damn thing off.
Man, I hate engineers.
I had a call yesterday from a user that started with the company recently, and he also happens to work remotely. He had quite a few things that needed to be addressed so I spoke with him back-and-forth throughout the day.
One of the things he needed was to have the temporary admin account activated on his machine so he can install his home printer. Most of the users don't have admin rights, so when a remote user needs to install drivers for their printer, we enable an account called ad-temp that will stay active for one week so they can do what they need to do.
Of course, after we activate the account, we need to tell the user the login information to get in. So I tell him, "The user name is ad hyphen temp. So that is A D hyphen T E M P." He reads it back to me perfectly so we hang up and he goes to try and install his printer.
Later in the day he calls to give me an update and ask for assistance with something else. While I'm typing up a case, he happens to say to me:
"Well this is kinda embarressing, but when you told me the username had hyphen in it, I couldn't remember what a hyphen was. So I couldn't login until I finally went and googled 'what is a hyphen'."
Awesome.
